“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” – Neale Donald Walsch
💫 Edition 43 of Coachology in Practice
Written by Paul Smith, Managing Director
Influences often sell comfort zones to us as a place of ease. A space where everything feels calm and controlled. I like to think of it as a space of predictability. A place where:
We know what to expect
We understand the outcomes.
We avoid risk.
Which is why we stay there because we have programmed our mind to keep us safe. When we want to stay safe, stepping into the unknown (even when it leads to opportunity) can feel like a threat. So, our mind produces thoughts.
“What if it goes wrong?”
“What if I’m not ready?”
“What will people think?”
Protective thoughts to keep us comfortable. The challenge, however, is that what protects us in the short term often limits us in the long term. Nothing ever grows in the comfort zone; growth happens just beyond it.
Very often, what keeps a client within their comfort zone is not a lack of opportunity… but a lack of belief. More specifically, a collection of Automatic Negative Thoughts reinforcing why it is safer to stay exactly where they are. However, in the words of the famous Del Boy:
“He who dares, Rodney… he who dares.”
Our role as a coach is not to convince our clients to start ‘wheeling and dealing’ but to help them understand their limitations and guide them to stretch themselves beyond them.
Stepping Beyond the Comfort Zone
The comfort zone, despite its name, is not always that comfortable. It is familiar. Something we trained ourself to tolerate. It is the place where:
Our habits go unchallenged.
Our risks are avoided.
Our growth is postponed.
Personally, I used to sit comfortably, avoiding solo travel despite having a desire to see the world. Always trying to convince friends or family members to go on an adventure with me. However, in 2018 I took a leap and travelled to Switzerland on my own to hike Mount Pilatus. This changed my life. I’m sure coaches reading this have a similar story. If so, I encourage you to share it below. Your story could inspire someone.
Our Role as Coachologists
As Coachologists, part of our role is to help clients recognise that what sits outside of their comfort zone is not necessarily danger… but growth in disguise.
That said, telling someone to “just step outside your comfort zone” is about as helpful as telling someone to “just be more confident”; it doesn’t work and is practically unhelpful.
What clients need is a way to see it, understand it, and approach it in a way that feels achievable. Our role is to guide them to just that.
Below is a simple tool to help steer a coaching conversation on comfort zones.
A Practical Exercise: Mapping the Comfort Zone
Like most things in coaching, we keep this simple, and ideally, we keep it visual.
Please remember, as always, to offer an exploration of this tool to the client and not to force it on them. The agenda of a coaching session should always be led by the client.
Step 1: Define the Comfort Zone
We begin by drawing a circle and labelling it ‘Comfort Zone’. We can do this on a virtual whiteboard online or on a piece of blank paper in person.
Nothing complicated here, but this alone begins to create awareness.
Step 2: What Feels Safe?
We then invite the client to fill that circle with everything they currently feel comfortable doing in relation to their goal. This might include:
Actions they take regularly.
Behaviours they avoid questioning.
Areas where they feel in control.
At this stage, clients often realise they are very good at operating within this space. Which, of course, is exactly why they remain there.
Step 3: The Stretch Zone
Next, we draw a second circle and label it ‘Stepping Outside the Comfort Zone’.
We ask the client:
“What are some small steps you could take that would feel slightly uncomfortable… but move you forward?”
These are not dramatic life decisions. They are:
Small actions.
Manageable risks.
Slightly uncomfortable choices.
These should be actions that make us pause but not run for the exit.
Step 4: Breaking the Comfort Zone
Now we move beyond the circles. In the space outside, we capture the bigger actions. The ones that feel:
Uncomfortable.
Uncertain.
Perhaps slightly intimidating.
The decisions that, if taken, could significantly accelerate progress. You will find clients often hesitate here. Which is usually a good sign. It means we are getting closer to the real edge of the comfort zone.
Step 5: What’s Really Stopping You?
At this point, we explore. Not the actions themselves, but the resistance behind them.
Questions may include:
“What is stopping you from taking these steps?”
“What are you telling yourself about these actions?”
“What feels risky about this?”
More often than not, we find ourselves back where we started: Automatic Negative Thoughts. This is where we might revert back to some of the tools we have explored in our previous editions.
Step 6: Creating a Way Forward
Finally, we support the client in creating an action plan. Not one that we design for them. Not one that looks impressive on paper. But one that feels:
Realistic for the client.
Owned by the client.
Achievable for the client.
Confidence is rarely built through thinking alone. It is built through action, followed by evidence.
Coaches Create the Right Conditions
Challenging unconstructive thoughts is a fundamental part of coaching. But the real shift does not happen when a client simply thinks differently. It happens when they begin to act differently. When they test new beliefs. When they gather new evidence. When they realise that the thing they feared was often not as fixed or as threatening as they first believed.
As coaches, our role is not to push clients out of their comfort zone. It is to walk alongside them as they choose to step beyond it. At their pace. In their way. On their own terms.
Coaching is not about forcing change. It is about creating the conditions where change becomes possible and then supporting the client as they step into it.
Explore using this tool today and let us know how you get on!
💫 Next Week: Edition 44, “Shifting from Reactive to Proactive Language”
Keywords: Coachology, Coaching, Coachologist, Coaching Psychology, Cognitive Behavioural Coaching, Automatic Negative Thoughts, ANTs, Positive Empowering Thoughts, PETs, Comfort Zones, Coaching Tools
