From Negative to Positive: Guiding Clients to Affirmations
💫 Edition 42 of Coachology in Practice
“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill
💫 Edition 42 of Coachology in Practice
Written by Paul Smith, Managing Director
The Napoleon Hill quote above hit me at the right time as I was preparing this article and reading ‘Success Habits’ by Napoleon Hill on a beach in Mexico. It sets the theme nicely for today’s topic.
In our last three editions of Coachology in Practice we explored how to support clients with negative thinking. We learned how to guide them so:
They can see that their thinking is not fixed.
They have begun to form a more helpful, balanced perspective.
This is a great start, but seeing a new way of thinking… and believing it are two very different things. Whilst a Positive Empowering Thought might make perfect sense in the moment, it does not automatically override years of automatic thinking. Unfortunately, our minds are not quite that efficient.
Our next task is to installing new positive thoughts with our clients.
One way we can support this process is by helping clients turn their Positive Empowering Thoughts into affirmations. Now, before we all picture ourselves standing in front of a mirror declaring, “I am unstoppable” with questionable levels of enthusiasm, it is worth grounding this properly. Instead, imagine Jim Carey in The Mask:
“It’s party time. P-A-R-T-Y… because I gotta.”
I’m sure that will pop into your mind in your next coaching session. However, let’s treat party time as the start of converting new positive thoughts into installed beliefs.
The first rule we must understand as Coachologists is that affirmations are not about blind positivity. They are about reinforcing a belief that already has some level of truth and evidence behind it. Otherwise, the mind tends to reject it fairly quickly.
This provides us with an opportunity to tap into our creativity as coaches.
There are many approaches to affirmations, and you will find entire books dedicated to them, but the key principle remains the same:
👉 The affirmation must come from the client, not the coach.
We are not here to write motivational slogans on their behalf.
We are here to facilitate a process where the client creates something that feels authentic, believable, and usable in their own life. Here are three core steps to creating affirmations:
Step 1: From ANT to PET
We begin where we have already been working (see editions 39, 40 & 41). Identifying the Automatic Negative Thought and supporting the client in reframing it into a Positive Empowering Thought.
For example:
“I’m not good enough”
becomes“I am capable, and I am developing every day.”
Nothing new or concrete here, but it sets the foundation.
Step 2: Turning the Thought into an Affirmation
Here we shape the thought into something the client can actively use.
Rather than simply stating the thought, we help the client build it into something they can live by.
Some useful, important aspects include the following:
Creating an affirmation that directly counters their most frequent negative thought
Adding action-based language (because thinking alone rarely creates change)
Connecting the affirmation to a goal or vision
Linking it to something they want to create or move towards
Finishing with a short, repeatable phrase that can be used daily
For example:
“By taking consistent action and trusting my ability to learn, I am becoming more confident every day. I am capable.”
Notice the difference. It is not just a statement. It is something the client can begin to act upon. The more they act into it, the stronger the belief becomes. Ultimately, our client needs to live the belief, not just speak it.
Step 3: Installing the Affirmation
This is the step that is often missed. Creating the affirmation is one thing. Embedding it into daily thinking is another. This is where our coaching really makes the difference.
There is no single “correct” method here. What matters is that it works for the client.
This might include:
Adding their name to the affirmation (I, Paul, by taking action…)
Saying it aloud (yes, even if it feels slightly awkward at first)
Writing it down daily
Using mirror work
Placing it somewhere visible
Linking it to an existing habit or routine
As always, we bring it back to the client:
How could you begin to install this into your daily thinking?
What habits will strengthen this belief?
Where can you put this affirmation so it is visible daily?
Important: If the process is not owned by the client, it is unlikely to stick. The process cannot be forced.
Our Responsibility as a Coach
We may go through this process once, or we may repeat it across several Automatic Negative Thoughts. Either way, our role remains the same, and we must always remember the following:
Not to convince the client to think positively.
Not to override their reality with forced optimism.
Our responsibility is to support them in building, reinforcing, and eventually believing a new way of thinking, one that is grounded, evidence-based, and aligned with who they are becoming.
Thoughts may start as opinions, but with enough repetition and reinforcement, they begin to feel like truth.
The question, as always, is:
Which thoughts are we choosing to install?
💫 Next Week: Edition 43, “Breaking Comfort Zones”
Keywords: Coachology, Coaching, Coachologist, Coaching Psychology, Cognitive Behavioural Coaching, Automatic Negative Thoughts, ANTs, Positive Empowering Thoughts, PETs, Positive Affirmations, Coaching Tools
